No Math Will Solve This

What do you do when you find yourself in a limbo, unable to identify where you are in another's regard?

What do you do when you realize that you were about 4 years too late?

What do you do when there's an ocean standing in the way?

What do you do?

For some reason I don't think this'll solve like an algebra problem.

Summer brings passion

Or that's what they seem to think.

Now that this glorious sleepy summer is hitting autumn, I decided to disclose myriad of lewd comments I received from my male acquaintances this summer. Some of them are... well, wow, others are funny. And all of them contain more than enough implicit sexuality.

Be warned.

Oh, and I also found it amusing that they were all said by Europeans. Apparently Americans are prudes :P

Jeremy: Your waist size is 24?
Me: Yup.
Jeremy: Perfect.
Me: For what...?
Jeremy: For me to wrap my arms. Without me going SQUISH.
Me: ?!?!?

Me: Why is it that guys stare at me? Is there something on my face?
Jack: There's lipstick on your mouth.
Me: That's not what I meant!
Jack: I think you're the one who's responsible. The way you dress doesn't leave much to imagination...
Jeremy: Or leave too much.

Jeremy: I hope she's coming home with me tonight~~
Me: She's not.
Jeremy: ... You did.

Jack: You're coming onto me.
Me: Nope.
Jack: What's that hand?
Me: It's on the table.
Jack: Yeah, you're coming onto me. Wanna take it further?
Me: ... no.

Jeremy: For God's sake, can you please stop swooning over 2D characters and swoon over a real guy for once!?
Me: Like who...
Jeremy: I'm a real guy...
Me: Uh huh. I love you too.

Jack: The guys were looking at you.
Me: Okay. As usual.
Jack: It amuses me that I'm the only one who can talk to you.
Me: And what do you feel about that?
Jack: I'm happy about that, thanks very much.

Jeremy: If you had to pick someone to sleep with, who would you pick?
Me: I have no clue.
Jack: We can do three to a bed.
Jeremy: Nope. We'll do it, you can watch.
Me: Wait, wait a moment! Don't I get a say?!
Jack and Jeremy: (stares) ... No.

Do you mind if you leave me alone?

4:30PM. It's nice weather. I'm wearing regular clothes, and I go out to get something from a store nearby. I walk there. The heels clatter against the sidewalk. In the due process of getting there, which took, oh, let's say, about 10 minutes, I got hooted twice by a guy I didn't know, got honked at (no, I was not crossing the street), got stared at, and was beaten by a branch.

WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?

Oh, and by the way, please stop staring at me. It's RUDE.

Jebus.

Croak it

My results came in (well, not really). I passed, and as all med students know, it's pass baby, it's all about the pass. Hence I was able to sleep, and I slept for about 15 hours (is that possible? Trust me, it is). Anyway, I'd like to shout...

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE SAYING THAT YOU DON'T NEED SEX BECAUSE YOUR MAJOR FUCKS YOU EVERYDAY...

well...

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I'm not being elitist. Really, I'm not. But I nearly died last year, and the hardest year has yet to come. I think the worst was when I pulled 3 all-nighters consecutively, not because I had any deadlines coming up but because I was so behind in compiling notes. Med school sucks, and probably law school too, so just shut up and go back to solving Calculus.

And for those of you who are aspiring to go to med school and think House is close to reality, think again. It's not. It's one of those professions where your fingers have the honour and privilege to travel to the grossest places ever devised by God, and those include sick vaginal orifices and men's rectums. So unless you have a fetish of sticking your fingers up there (and in which case please desist from coming back here again), try a cleaner profession.

Seriously.

Here's the stuff I need to learn next year...

Pathology
Microbiology
Medical Ethics (WHAT?!)
Biostats
Physio and Anatomy
Pharmacology
Psychology (again, WHAT?)
Immunology
Histology

so if you don't hear from me again, that means I died.

Ciao.

I don't want anybody else

And the remainder of the lyrics shall not be disclosed because I have to keep this blog rating PG13 (haha)


Anyway, the lyrics is from 'I touch Myself' by The Genitorturers. Go look it up yourself if you want to know it that bad.

And here I am, sort of dreading July because that's when I get my exam results... and get to know if I can continue university next year o-O oh crap.

Now, excuse me while I go enjoy the art of a bronzer.

Dolce and Gabbana

Dear Dolce and Gabbana,

In case you haven't noticed, you and your kind of sexual orientation are the only ones who actually find naked males in nothing but underoos hot and arousing.

Thank you, the management.

But SERIOUSLY. It's gross. Those steroid-induced genetic freaks that flaunt their abs (and more) in nought but briefs should be arrested. I don't CARE if they're hot, they're sexy, they're good-looking, whatever.

Fact of the day: THEY LOOK GROSS.

I don't want to see it! I just don't. Thank you, I was enjoying the nice scenery outside and then all of a sudden I see the stupid D&G ad where there's a guy with nothing but white briefs trying to look cool. Not only did that attempt fail horribly, but it also made my stomach churn.

It doesn't help that their muscles are bulging, inducing yucky images of the gym, sweat, and well... steroids.

Ew.

So, when you get this memo, D&G, please stop using muscly bundles of fiber. I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT.

Go away, Old man

...

So I was looking at Ticketmaster when I saw...

LED ZEPPELIN COMES TO KINGS COLLEGE!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Yeah, that's what I thought. Duh.

And since I thought Robert Plant was one of the sexiest vocalists ever, I looked at the photos when I saw...

Ew.

Old.

REALLY old.

No matter what I look at, THEY'RE OLD.

I HATE OLD GUYS!

Therefore, I'm not going. Apparently the ticket costs 11.50 pounds, but it's still expensive even if the ticket was 20p!

I'll go if they become young again <-arrogance rampant

Go away, old man.

Actually, how about going into a coffin instead? I think it's about time to go to the next world. You've finished your job here. I don't think there's anything to regret about this world either. Therefore, just go without a fuss.

Well... Not just Led Zep, but Queen and all those people too. You guys were popular half because of you guys' looks! You guys are utterly useless when you guys get old! Your places aren't even in this world, let alone a stage.

By the way, Linkin Park cost 60 pounds but I still went anyway.

Yeah, these days Linkin Park costs more than Zep. Time changes, ha.

Youth is the best。Therefore, the CD Led Zep is quite enough, thank you. Even if they offered me a 100 quid to go, I still don't want to. They'll hurt my eyes ><

Oh, they'll probably hurt my ears too.

Oh wait, never mind, Jimmy's guitar was sometimes painful to my ears to begin with. Oh well.

But I gotta say this...

KCL, get a sense in your head, for god's sake.