'Accept this sacrifice, o Great Lord of Darkness'

That's just one of the things you don't want to hear in an OR.

To be honest, going to a hospital should be a trembling-inducing, fearful, nightmarish experience. Basically you're handing your life over to a random stranger and saying "here, take my life and my happiness, even though I don't know that you have an anti-social personality disorder plus a history of three divorces and is on three different anti-depressants." Even after that you have no clue what the heck the doctor is doing, and for all you know he might be sending you to an OR pretending that it's some bizarre, crazy disease while you just might be having a migraine. Bad luck for you.

After scaring the bejesus out of you like that (because, you know, I will be joining the anti-social, thrice-divorced, depressed population called MD's), I would like to finish off with this list:

TOP TEN THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IN THE OR:
1 Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

3 Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!

4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!

5 Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

6 Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

7 "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

8 Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

9 "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, he's got two of'em

10 What do you mean "You want a divorce?"